Journey towards parenting

The Final Post...

2011-03-14T12:54:00.000-07:00

This is my last post on "journey towards parenting" blog, not because the journey is over but this chapter has closed. The boys finalized (finally) on Friday and parenting is my life, therefore I've decided to continue my parenting stories on my "Tea and Sweatpants" blog.

Reflections from Friday:

Grammie Lynn (Nick's mom), Nick, and the boys and I crowded into the car early Friday morning to begin our commute to Eugene, OR. A little over two hours later we pulled up into the Lane County court house parking lot. We had enough time to get out, stretch our legs, have a snack and bask in the sunshine that the Lord brought our way. We buttoned ironed shirts, fidgeted with ties (zip and clip style), and tied on our fancy shoes. About that time Grammie and Grampie (my parents) pulled up and the boys took a running dash into their arms. We proudly walked into the court house and had some giggles and awe as we made it through security. We made our way up the large staircase to the seating area to wait for our names to be called. Right about this time our friend Rhonda Birchard showed up to support us making the trip from Portland as well. Rhonda has been mentoring me through this parenting journey in that she herself is a foster-adopt mother.

We made it with the perfect amount of time that had the court been on schedule we would have walked right in and sat down for our hearing at 11:30. A clerk approached me and let me know the judge was running very far behind and that we would have to wait for about an hour. My stomach turned but I said with confidence that we would wait, nothing was going to send me back to Portland now. Grammie Lynn to the rescue, she found with some snooping, a kids play room! The boys did great despite the wait. Dom lost the zipper tie within the first 5 minutes (no big deal, I don't blame the kid) and Eli reached his limit when his stomach started throwing a tantrum on him out of hunger. Grammie (ziebart) to the rescue on this one, she found a vending machine with peanuts. Thank the Lord my children like and are not allergic to peanuts becasue the only other choice was MnMs! Now, the boys were really getting wiggly and the grown ups were too. Finally at 1:00pm the clerk let us know the judge was almost ready and we could get into the court room. Elation probably best describes my emotion at that moment. We went in there and started snapping picutres which, as you can immagine, the boys were thrilled to do while feeling tired, hungary, board and ansy.

The jude came in and we tried to sit all formal like and really tried to pay attention to every word she was saying. She asked us a few questions, she wanted to know our story, and she really truly found so much joy in doing this ceremony. She sees and deals with so much crap daily and this is one thing that really gives her life and joy in what she is doing. She thanked us for choosing adoption, she proudly signed the paperwork, and I choked back my tears of joy. I knew if I let even one tear fall my pregnant self would be sobbing for the next 45 min.:)

I do feel different. In our eyes the boys have been ours since the day they moved in. No name change or legal work would change that. However, I felt as if a burden, a hesitation, was lifted. I don't have to explain to drs. or preschool teachers, or anyone else why they have different names than us. Now and forever our names are on their birth certificates. Now and forever they are Muccis, their children will be called Mucci's as well. Our family tree is their family tree. Now the state, the US, the world recognizes these two as ours. It's a bit freeing to me and I don't think I can exactly articulate why.

Lord, thank you for my sons, thank you for a beautiful day in Eugene to mark the joining of our lives forever.

Number 3...

2011-02-14T14:16:00.000-08:00

In September our first born will be 4 1/2, our second born will be 3 1/2 and our unborn will be born.

Our sons will adopt a baby brother or sister into their lives and this baby will adopt us 4 as his/her forever family. I am pregnant but I use the word adopt because it is language that is understood in our family that means forever. When we explained to the boys that a baby was coming it made the most sense to say to them that they and we would adopt this baby that is growing in my belly. Just as we say they adopted us as their parents and we adopted them as our sons and Nick and I adopted each other as husband and wife, we are all one big adopted family:) I love using this language because it implies there is a choice. I choose to love you forever. I choose to be your family for all time. I choose you.

Speaking of love it seems as we make this announcement of our pregnancy some people assume (all of these people are NOT adoptive parents) the we will finally know what it's like to love our own child. This thought either implied or stated by others hurts my heart. I felt in my heart of Friday when I saw baby the same feeling I had when we were looking at children available for adoption. My heart just grew. I believe with my whole heart that I can and do love my adoptive children as much as my biological. My husband is one example of how I know this. I love him more that any other. I have not known him in the womb (I wasn't alive yet), I didn't know him at birth, and yet I love him more than any other. Christ teaches us about adoption and love, He reassures me that my love for these two is as strong as any other child of mine.

We've also become the poster family for "you know, after you adopt you'll get pregnant." Yes, I'll admit there truly are MANY families who adopt and then get pregnant but I would argue there are just as many who adopt and don't get pregnant. For the record, all of the adopting families that I know that struggled with infertility did not adopt in hopes that it would get them pregnant. Maybe some of you remind us of this out of shock that it happened to us, or to say "I knew it" or simply to imply this is what we hoped would happen if we adopted. Whatever the reason know that I don't really care!

All of this to say, we're excited about our growing family. In this year alone our family will grow from two Muccis to 5! God is amazing and we're blessed to be on this journey in his love.

March 11th...

2011-02-14T13:26:00.001-08:00

March 11th, 2011 a day that will be important to me for the rest of my life. This day is our official adoption day for the boys. We will venture down to the court house with some close friends to watch the judge officially sign the paperwork. The boys will each get new birth certificates with their new names on it along with our names.

I can't even say how excited I am to have them legally ours forever.

A lil update...

2010-12-31T08:17:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the delay in posting life's been really crazy. The holidays have been a bit rough for the boys as they have overwhelming emotions they are trying to manage. The joy and thrill that comes from Thanksgiving and Christmas are enough on their own to make a child burst with joy. Dominick was old enough to remember the meaning and fun of Christmas, Eli couldn't remember all the details but emotions were triggered. Dom, without hesitations remembered we were celebrating Jesus Birthday and also without hesitation remember the marathon of opening gifts!

Unfortunately with the good emotions came some really tough ones. As soon as the decorations went up last year the boys were removed from the comfort of their foster home into this strange new world, our home. So, it was as if the decorations and christmas carols stirred anxiety in them and there were some subconscious fears about having to leave. Those emotions are enough to make anyone burst as well. Although the boys for a time made a few steps back in development (behaviorally mostly) they worked through the tangle of emotions, both good and bad, in an amazing way. I am so proud of them! I believe that with each passing of Christmas the boys will become more secure in knowing they are here forever.

Speaking of forever...
If you remember in all my previous posts I've never noted that the adoption is finalized, well that's because it still isn't. It's pretty much ridiculous how long it's taken. Honestly, we should have been finalized about 3 months ago but the state is just too busy to push that paperwork around. We did find out, however, that our attorney (the one finalizing the case for us) has all the paperwork she needs to get it done. We'll be signing some papers soon and setting a court date with a judge for the final signature to make it all legal. If we are still not finalized by the end of February I will be SHOCKED!

I had a "they are growing up too fast" moment the other day when I was thinking about preschool for Dom. Eli might be going to preschool next fall as well. I realized that our time for swimming, the library, play groups, parks, and special adventures is going to get cut short! So, without a doubt 2011 is going to be full of bonding time for the boys and I:) I'm very excited about that! That's all for now, it seems the first post after not blogging is always the hardest. So, I think I'm back into it now.

that MY Daddy

2010-10-21T07:36:00.000-07:00

so, after football practice, Mandy and the boys came and picked me up. we had to stop at Burgerville, cause the second we got in the car, Dom announced it was potty-time. so I took Dom inside and when we finished and left the bathroom, Eli could see through the glass and had this to say, either to Mandy or to himself...but one day after I shared with Mandy that I felt my abilities as a father should be called into question, I can say I needed this...

i smile cause i own you :)

"That Daddy
That MY Daddy
My Daddy is so happy and he loves me so much
Yeah he loves me
I love MY Daddy

My Daddy going pee pee pee in the potty
He all done pee pee pee

could've done without the 'pee' narrative, but my heart melted and jumped for joy after hearing this. this kid will own your heart in a second...so this is your warning...no matter how much i feel like i struggle at being a dad, these two always find ways to make me feel like a hero, whether its running to me when they get up from their naps and see i'm home from work, wanting to stand next to me at football practice...even when i don't think i'm a hero, they find ways to make me feel like one.

Family Day...

2010-09-16T12:38:00.000-07:00

It needs named something new and exciting but that is it in the mean time. If you think of a name for us let me know!

I stole this idea from a friend but here is our version of it:

When discussing what we wanted to keep/create for Christmas traditions we kept thinking about how much we wanted the boys to know it was a time to give gifts and to celebrate our Lord. How do you teach a child this when the only thing they can remember about Christmas is PRESENTS!?! We decided to skip the gift giving to the boys and each other and save it for another day in the year. The grandparents and aunts and uncles still gave gifts, no biggie! We decided Santa is such a magical fun thing about christmas so we would still do stockings. We did still want to exchange gifts so we decided that this past Saturday, the 11th, would be our "gift day" or "family day" or whatever it should be called. It was SO much fun!

We planned to take the boys to the children's museum but it was closed so we took them to this GIANT play place where they had a blast. When we got home the boys walked into the house to see a nice pile of presents and had so much fun tearing into them. Nick and I exchanged simple gifts and enjoyed the day as a family.

When the boys are older (school age) we plan on making the day on a school day so they can stay home and make an even bigger deal out of it! I think that at Christmas we might still make some gifts for each other but nothing big or fancy just a bit of lovin on each other.

Decapitating Barbie...

2010-09-07T12:32:00.000-07:00

We were at a friends house yesterday and Dom found a Barbie. He decided he would play with it. Nick tried his best to ignore the fact that Dom chose Barbie over the dirt and rocks in the back yard. I tried to ignore the fact that naked blond Barbie had been named "Mandy."

Moments later Eli was fighting Dom for the girl (hopefully not a sign of things to come). He had a hold of her hair and Dom had a hold of her legs and yes, Barbie's head popped off. Both boys stood feet apart with pieces of the girl, stunned. It was as if they expected her to scream or cry or something. I was laughing in hysterics. Then they silently swapped pieces of the girl and still looked at their portion stunned.

Somehow Dom recovered the whole girl and proceed to play with Barbie in a way that made dad proud "Ahhh Mandy's head come off! Hey, what you doing with me head? Hello person's head I'm body, what you doing today?" On and on he went reenacting the head popping experience but this time providing the sound effects.

And that my friends is how boys play with Barbies.

The bank...

2010-09-02T13:01:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how once we started this journey a whole population of foster and adoption has been opened up to us. I could tell you about several situations over the last year of people sharing their adoption or foster story with us. I had another experience today. Most of the stories I hear are about people who had been adopted but today is a foster story and it stops there.

I was at the bank today in the drive through lane and was depositing checks, one of which was our foster check. Here is how the conversation went through the glass:

Bank Teller: Are you a foster parent?
Me: Yeah (a bit curious as to why she was asking, often people in our neighborhood ask about our foster pay to see if it would be a good income source so we never really talk about it).
BT: I was a foster kid.
Me: Oh yeah (not sure if this is a good or bad thing)
BT: How many do you have?
Me: 2, they are biological brothers.
BT: How old are they?
Me: 2 and 3
BT: Thats good, most people only want babies and they want to split up the siblings.
Me: Yeah, we are actually adopting them, we are so blessed.
BT: I wish someone adopted me.
Me: Yeah?
BT: I guess that's how life goes sometimes. (as she passes my card through the box back to me)
Me: Well have a really nice day, thanks for sharing with me.
BT: You too!

And that's the end of the story. I wish more people would adopt from the foster system, it's the best thing that EVER happened to us.

Dom getting his haircut...

2010-08-26T15:38:00.001-07:00

The hairdresser was this sweet Asian woman who spoke little English so she didn't understand half of what my toddler was saying which made the whole thing funnier.

HD (hairdresser): "you hold real still now."
D: Nodding his head
Me: already getting anxious about the whole event

*The cutting begins with the trimmers*

D: Scrunching up his shoulders "owie owie owie"
Me: "Dom, no owies here it won't hurt you"
HD: "you move you give me owie"
D: Eyes really big shaking his head "I no give owies"

*Now moving on to the scissors*

D:"I wuv you Mama"
M: "I love you Domer, you're doing a good job"
D: "Woman, I wuv you"
M: "Dom, we just say we love our family"
D: "Woman, me no say I wuv you I jus wuv my Mama"
*Moments later*
D: kicking the cape to float in the air
HD: "bebe sit still"
D: "it's DOM"
HD: "okay bebe sit still now"
D: "it's D_OM_ER"
ME: "Okay Dom, just stop moving, keep your eyes on Mama"
D: "Look at dose womans!" pointing to the pictures on the wall in another corner.
HD: A look of desperation comes over her face, "Bebe, be a good boy and look at your Mama"
D: "It's D_O_M"
Me: Finally finished the cut holding the child's head still!

*Dom's cut is finished and Eli hops into the chair*
D: "Woman dats bebe"

I have to say I am SO proud of him. The last three cuts for Dom were spent crying and scrunching shoulders, and yelling "No, no, no!"

Glimpses of the weekend:

2010-07-10T19:30:00.001-07:00

1. After a long two hour car ride full of screaming and singing we pulled up the the water park in Albany. This is where we were going to meet the boy's old foster family for their foster sister's birthday party. The boys haven't seen sweet Ava and Lilly (ages 5 and 4) for 3 months and Dom was very excited. We unloaded the car and the boys were extremely happy to be out! I held both of their hand very tight on the sidewalk and we saw the van pull up, loaded with kids but specifically two little girls the boys love deeply. We walked across the steamy pavement and the door opened. Both girls came bounding out of the car and the boys wriggled their sweaty fingers out of mine. The kids sprinted to one another and stopped noes to nose giggling and talking, mostly repeating "hi, hi, hi, hee hee, hi!"

2. Nick and I rolled down the windows and were hit with the fishy smell of the sea. We just pulled into Lincoln City for our anniversary. The boys were still (hopefully) napping at Grammie and Grampies and we kept wondering "what will we do? No kids, no responsibility, no plans, what do we do?" Operating without a schedule...first time in 8 months...felt good! After we had dinner at a perfect little fish and chips find we got the bedtime call from the boys. I was sad, feeling weird, and delighted all at the same time. It brought me so much joy and peace to hear them try to tell me about their day and to say "I wuv you, goonight mamma"

3. Walking into my parents house after our first night away from the boys I put my hand on the door expecting to hear KC barking. I opened the door (KC was too tired to bark at this point) and I could hear my little boys giggling and playing in the living room. We rounded the corner, met their eyes and was greeted with "MOMMY! DADDY!" Big hug and kisses from my sweet little angels. Sigh, oh how I love them!

Richard Delany

2010-06-22T13:53:00.000-07:00

This is an author of some books I desperately need to read but more importantly he was the speaker at a training I went to through DHS yesterday!

The name of this conference was Adopting Children with Complex Histories- Strategies for Parents. Sounds perfect right? Well it was! There were so many meaningful and resourceful things there for me but one stood out the most.

He used the analogy of dance. He said adopting a child with a complex history is like partner dancing in pitch dark. You and your children were taught different steps, are now partnered up and are trying to dance as one. Toes are getting stepped on, who's leading who, and a constant pushing and pulling exists. Just when you feel like you are making progress the moves change slightly.

I truly appreciated this analogy because it speaks so true to my heart and the feelings I cannot express. Anyway, more thoughts to come on this I'm sure.

Eli's tears...

2010-06-17T13:57:00.000-07:00

They've been flowing a lot lately I guess that comes with the fact that he's blown and ear drum and delt with a stomach virus at the same time. The kid is tough. Along with being in pain he is in the thick of the terrible twos, just kinda mad at the world right now. Often when he does this Nick and I can do a little playful mimicking of the whining and tears and he instantly turns to giggles. When that doesn't work or when we are in public I often tell him to take a deep breaths until he calms down.

The other day he was in the heat of a real smokin scream so I thought I'd join him. I said, "well bud, you know I kinda feel like crying to. Can I cry with you a little?" I let loose and without skipping a beat, through his screaming, and with all the bossiness he could muster he whaled "no crying mom, kake deep breafs, deep breafs mom!" I couldn't help but laugh. I was stealing his show and he didn't like it.

My favorite things they said today:

2010-06-10T19:03:00.001-07:00

Dom: "My fawder at home mamma? My fawder at my Domer house?" (My Father at home Mamma? My Father at my Domer house? I think he repeated it 15 times)

Eli: "awe done wisening" (Ready to listen!)

I'm one pissed mamma!

2010-06-02T11:43:00.000-07:00

The Lord just reminded me what I am called to and part of it is easier than the other. I was invited to join a Samali play group and we attended our first time today. The boys loved it and so did I. I could tell that this is a tight group of women who have all experienced the same trama as refugees and share a unique bond as isolated mothers. They, however, didn't jude me a young white mom who was born here and "has it all together." They warmly accepted us and were very kind. I am looking forward to crossing cultural boundries (including language) to get to know these women. This I believe is what we as a family are called to.

Then, their is a neighbor 4 doors down whom I've never met before today but had a very frustrating conversation with. There is a project going in across the street that is a community that supports and helps families adopt from foster care.

I was walking the boys around the block to watch the diggers and dump trucks.
"How do you feel about walking your babies down the middle of the road like that?"
Oh, I'm okay with it. We feel pretty safe on our street and we are actually going to watch these big trucks, my boys love it!
"Well how do you feel about wild unsupervised teenagers moving in?"
Oh, we are really excited about this project! We are huge advocates for it and don't worry, they'll be supervised.
"Honey, I've lived on this street for longer than you've been alive. This is NOT the right place for these wild crazy kids to move in."
I'm sorry you have such a poor view of them. These kids are awesome. Our boys were adopted from foster care! I really hope you get the chance to meet some of them when they move in I'm sure it will change your mind.
"I hope not. Those damn kids better not ever step foot on my property they are not welcome here."
Well sir, have a nice day!

Oooh, Lord, really? I have to love this neighbor too?

Potty Training...

2010-06-01T13:08:00.000-07:00

First of all...I'm fully a mom now, here I am bragging about my boy's peeing progress...

Oh what a journey this has been! Dominick was ready to be trained when he came to us at age 2.5, but we were not ready with all the other adjustments going on so he had to wait. His personality is so funny to me, such selective passion! At times he is THE most motivated kid out there, willing to do ANYTHING to get/do what he's trying to do. At other times, he is the most passive kid out there NOTHING can faze him or persuade him to care about the desired outcome. This has been both my greatest joy and pain at times. Potty training...humm...more on the passive side of things. I think with the transition we missed the "window of opportunity." The early weeks working on it he would just pee everywhere and keep on playing as if nothing happened. He would even laugh at times about the fact the he peed and would just act as if it was no big deal. No cookie, special time, movie, or anything could motivate that kid to get it. It just took a LOT of patience for us to wait for him to internally own the idea and to chase it. We started back in January and even still he has random accidents and wears diapers at night.

Eli on the other hand, a completely different child. This kid will do ANYTHING for a cookie and to be just like big brother. The poor kid has no patience for himself and gets so MAD when he sits there not peeing. Literally throwing a mini tantrum because he can't pee fast enough or even at all. He requires a whole other kind of tolerance and patience in this process. I am excited to see how it goes. Because of his lack of patience our potty "sessions" have been more scattered and spread out (unlike Dom) because it can be very stressful to give him a biology lesson every time he tries to go! How does one explain to a 2 year old to first drink, wait, then it's time to go potty?

Then there is the added challenge of sibling rivalry! These two can't stand it when the other is peeing! The second Eli gets the big boy pants on Dom is rip roaring and ready to go to get any/all attention he can deflect from Eli. Then, when Dom is using the potty Eli is stripping down, ripping off diapers, and either pushing Dom off the stool or attempting to catch his pee before it hits the toilet.

Never a dull moment in this house:) I am so proud of them but would much rather be changing diapers for a few years, MUCH EASIER!!

Domer-Daddy Time.

2010-05-31T08:25:00.000-07:00

these boys are happy. they really are, sure they get frustrated and Eli's tantrums are becoming things of legend! seriously, his flops on the floor are priceless! but they are so happy. you can see it when they wake up in the morning and run to Mandy or I. you can see it after nap time when Dom comes running out of the room because he gets to be with everyone again. you can see it when they are in the backyard completely fixated on some imaginary paradise they've created.

ya know what seems to make Dom the happiest? Domer-Daddy time. 'I get Domer-Daddy time?' he asks with genuine joy and excitement whenever Mandy or I tell him its Domer-Daddy time. his face lights up, his muscles clinch as his body gets ready to erupt in uncontainable joy....and my heart melts. this kid loves me. he loves to hang out with me, watching me mow, weed, clean, eat, anything. and if he gets hurt, he'll come running out of his room yelling, 'daddy kiss it.' apparently my kisses have some kind of magic power for these two, for after i kiss it, the tears stop and mayhem resumes! makes me feel like a hero, like i'm their hero...

i love Domer-Daddy time, today we went and got donuts (thanks for the idea Marshall). we walked in, i showed him the massive case and his eyes pop out as he says, 'Wow!' yes son, wow. all of these donuts and somehow we have to pick just one. chocolate with sprinkles, and chocolate milk. that's my boy. as he slowly picks the frosting and sprinkles off the top he points out everything he sees, from the moon in a picture to a person walking on the sidewalk...do you see all this daddy? do see how cool this world is? everything in it is so cool, and daddy, we get to share it together! we get to see and experience it all together.

'daddy' yeah Dom. 'i love you so much.' i love you too bub-bub.

Progress...

2010-05-20T19:56:00.000-07:00

Being a stay at home mom is tough. Every day I do laundry and it still needs done. Every day I clean the kitchen and the bathroom and it's still dirty. Every day I discipline my boys and they still need to test the boundaries. Every day I am bound to a schedule according to the eating and sleeping patterns of my toddlers. Is there joy in this? Absolutely. Would I trade it back in a go to work? Never.

Today was a big day for me, I saw notable, measurable progress! I rarely feel that I have moments that show me marked progress in my boys, my home, or my character. God is still teaching me how to see the great work he is doing in the average ebb and flow of our daily routines. Today, when I took time to reflect, I was even more proud to be a stay at home mom. Our family couldn't be where it is at today if I couldn't be home to help keep things a bit in balance.

Anyway, here it is:

Today Nick left around noon to be gone for a few days for district assembly. This is the first time since the boys have been with us that he's left overnight. I was scared! Long story short I was pretty proud of myself for getting it all done today...alone! I was reflecting on what it was like 6 months ago at this time of day...I almost cried just thinking about it!

6 months ago it would take Nick and I both an average of 4 hours to accomplish the nights tasks. This included cooking, eating, and cleaning dinner, picking up toys, bath time, and bed time for the boys. The list seems short but together it would take a total of 4 long and crazy hours. Around 9:00 we would sit on the couch and barely squeak out a few word to each other only to stumble off to bed and be woken up an average of 2 times (often more) before morning.

Today it took me (all by myself) only 2 hours to get all of the same things accomplished! I am beaming proud of my sons, my hubby, and myself! We have worked SOOO hard and been SOOO tired for so many months and we finally are all at a place of what I consider desirable!

Yay for a happy evening that works for all of us!

Emotions...

2010-05-16T19:27:00.000-07:00

Dominick's personality continues to emerge in way that amaze me. It seems like with each month as he matures he seems to feel all of his emotions more deeply. I wondered at first if this was a phase, a reaction to his past, or his unique personality. I am beginning to believe more and more that this is his unique design. He feels things so deeply it stirs my heart to see him experience it.

Joy: Today was a perfect example. He woke up from his nap (much needed after several day of not sleeping well) and was pretty happy. I then told him Grammy and Grampie would be coming and he was BURSTING with glee! He was jumping and running back and forth and yelling "Grammy-Grampie coming" repeatedly with a HUGE smile on his face. At times his joyful expression can frustrate me as we try to get him buckled in to go somewhere or dressed for a fun trip but lately I've been trying to appreciate his joy more. We've learned to be very careful at which times we share exciting news with him. The perfect time is when there is nothing that needs accomplished for about 20 min, the length of time for him to tone down his joy a few notches!

Sadness: When this baby is genuinely sad about something he delivers the most heart wrenching whales and tears that grip me. He actually doesn't feel this emotion often but when he does it is sure all that are around him feel it too.

Frustration: We may just have to skip this one for now, I might just get frustrated writing about how he expresses his frustrations!

Empathy: This one is new. In the last month or so I've seen this child become so wonderfully empathetic. He has such concern and tenderness for other when they are sad or hurt. He truly feels with the person in trouble or sadness. I have two examples. The first is when Nick left in the middle of dinner to help a friend who ran out of gas. Dom was so concerned he couldn't finish his dinner until I convinced him they would be okay and we prayed for them. The second is when Elmo's blankie gets ripped and Elmo is mad,Dominick is so sad for Elmo and what happened to his blanket.

I think it's really hard for Dom to feel so deeply. I think of my adult friends who share a similar spiritual gift and how challenging it is to feel emotions in such a deep almost spiritual way. When you are three it's hard to express any level of emotion in an appropriate way. So, my prayer is that I would gain some more empathy but specifically for my sweet boy. I pray that I would understand how deeply he is feeling things and be patient enough to teach him how to deal with those emotions in a way that is pleasing to the Lord.

Mother's Day

2010-05-09T06:25:00.000-07:00

It's 6:25 am Mothers Day 2010. One year ago Nick and I were still sleeping at this hour on Mothers Day. In fact all weekends we were never up before 7 unless there was some crazy reason. I remember being almost convinced that it would be my last Mother's Day without children but there was still a piece of me that feared God would have us wait another year. At this time we were in the thick of raising funds, filling out paperwork, and getting analyzed by the state under a microscope. I just read my Mother's Day post from a year a go here and can still hear through my words the emotions I felt of exasperation with the process.

Not today though, no exasperation, no worry, no wondering, no self-doubt, no curiosity, just warm fuzzies:) HA that's a joke. All of those feelings still exist but for now, here in bed with the boys making breakfast with daddy, just warm fuzzies! Right now in this moment I have so much joy and confidence in who God has called me to be. So much love that I never knew existed in me.

I think Mother's Day exists not just for everyone to appreciate their mom's but for mom's to appreciate their children and the support they get from their husbands. I believe this day will propel me through another year of parenting. It's enough of an umph to remind me that I am appreciate for what I do day in and out. The boys, they don't give a rip really but someday they will understand! The truth is they give me more identity and purpose in each day and that's enough of a return for what I do for them. I have NEVER done anything in my life that fills me up and gives me purpose like parenting these two.

Dominick and Elijah, Happy Mothers Day to me! You two are out there (in the kitchen) testing Daddy's patience and running circles around him. Dom you are like a little honey bee that just found a clover patch, bouncing here and there and buzzing with so much excitement for the day you can hardly contain yourself. It's cute from here, on the other side of the door. Eli you're still too young to fully understand. I think that you are in there being good and calm because you really want breakfast! I can't wait to spend this day with you two.

Two birthdays, age 2 and 3, one week, lots of fun!

2010-05-06T10:29:00.001-07:00

They boys are 5 days shy of being a year apart. I've been pondering what this really means. It defiantly means after this birthday all the rest need to be two parties a week apart, no combined parties...they need to feel distinctly celebrated and appreciated. It sort of mean a heap full of challenges and joys. By nature, as male siblings they will always be competing for love, attention, talent, friends, etc. I knew as parents we would have the challenge of teaching the boys to have a high level of self confidence without constantly comparing themselves to their peers. These two will forever have the added challenge of not comparing themselves to one another. I am constantly praying that even now, I wouldn't lump them together as having the same passions, curiosity, learning curves, and interests. I think we have a lot of similar challenges as parents of twins, triplet, and the like. I often find myself feeling much empathy for parents of multiples.

On a very positive note they are very bonded to each other. They share a similar story. They are bonded by their strength to overcome the challenges that life and sin has brought them. They care deeply about each other, even now at such a young age. Eli says every day when he wakes up from his nap (they sleep in separate rooms) "where Dum-en-ick" go?" He needs his big brother. On the same hand, if Dom wakes up first he immediately says "mommy, where Eli go?" in his most concerned voice. He needs to know his baby brother is still near and okay.

With the joy of the bond comes the tears and tantrums of two toddlers sharing toys, space, food, Daddy, Mommy, doggie, couch cushion, sippy cup, book, and so many other things:)

I pray with all my heart that I wouldn't become lax or unaware for the uniqueness of each child. That I would notice, love, appreciate and be sensitive to each boy's unique set of differences. I pray that I would not become light-hearted of flippant in my speech about how the two develop at different rates. I pray that they would learn to love all of the uniqueness in each other as well.

imagine this

2010-05-02T12:57:00.000-07:00

These boys' imaginations are amazing to me. They can get lost in a world, in a moment of their own creation and have so much fun doing so. Eli will spend at least an hour 'cooking' for Mandy and I, we get pancakes, cookies, and sandwiches...some of my favorites. Dom loves playing with his dinosaurs and all his toys and they all at some point go to Grouchland to help Elmo find his blanket. But this morning, my heart was warmed at their game.

They both grabbed their back-packs and said, 'Gotta go help Omari car! Buh bye!' And off they would run around the house to help Omari and his car. You see, Friday night, as we wrapped up dinner, my buddy Omari called cause he had run out of gas and was stuck about 4 minutes from my house. I jumped up from the table and told the boys that Daddy had to go help his friend who was in trouble, and off I went. As I drove there I began to be concerned because my gas can doesn't have much of a spout and I forgot to grab a funnel. No knowing what to do, I began to look around the car and looked in back seat to see a plastic water bottle; which I was then able to puncture the bottom of it and use it as a funnel.

Unknown to me, back at the house, Dom was looking at Mandy saying he wanted to help Daddy's friend too, he wanted to help Omari. So Mandy began telling the boys that Omari's car wasn't working and Daddy had to go get gas for it. And even though they were all still at the house, they could pray for God to help me as I helped Omari. So they did! And now for the last two days helping Omari has been the imagination game for both of them...don't get me wrong, I love my imaginary cookies and an adventure to Grouchland sounds like a lot of fun...but this, this was the best...

new cute and amazing things they do...

2010-04-28T09:57:00.001-07:00

1. Wearing pirate hats Grammy Lynn gave them, "gimme that ting ting ting" in the scruffiest voice they can muster.
2. Remember when Dom used to love everything but Mommy and Daddy, now he says "I wuv you so much!" with a silly cute grin on his face. LOVE THIS. Eli even started saying:)
3. When they are "baking cookies" in the kitchen they put socks over their hands to imitate oven mitts. That was Eli's idea about 3 weeks ago.
4. Dom really likes the flow of saying Grammy Lynn and we hear at times "Mommy Lynn, Daddy Lynn, Eli Lynn or Dommer Lynn"
5. Eli is practically potty training himself, we'll officially start Monday!
6. Dom has the ability to entertain himself with books for 90 min. completely alone!!!! On days when he doesn't really want/need to nap he reads books for the entire time...amazing.
7. I may as well consider all my furniture climbing objects. They have literally reached new heights these days in the house and on the playground. They are getting braver and braver and I'm growing more aware of the need to always know where the medical cards are at.
8. They don't have much reference for action sounds (when hitting something/someone with an object) so the ones they constantly default to is either "Wow, wow, wow" or "Poo Pow, Poo Pow" I just heard Dom say "I want to Wow wow the dinosaurs"
9. Their undying devotion to green beans.
10. The evidence of growth and trust in our house being THEIR home.

Benefit of two...

2010-04-08T16:10:00.000-07:00

There are so many befits to starting with just one child but recently I've been trying to focus on the befits of two children at one time...

1. Power of Positive Reinforcement: What worked for my second graders has proven to be my most powerful tool as a mom. I can say "Wow, Dom you are doing a great job sitting and reading that book so nice" to encourage Eli to do what I've asked. I would have used this even if we only had one child at a time but it would have been weird saying "Wow, Daddy, you are doing a great job reading that book so nice!"
2. Both boys had delayed speech and now they are soaring. They talk to, with, and about each other all day long in whispers, shouts, laughter and tears:)
3. In the same way they also help me understand what they are saying. It's amazing how toddlers perfectly understand each other.
4. Play: They are amazing and being inspired by each other through play. Each of my sons has very distinct interests but at times they need a little umph to get going with their play. Often they start by imitating then it spins off to their own interest and imagination version of it.
5. The challenge: It's like doing acrobatics some times getting these two from point a to point b but it's fun!

There are many more but at this moment they are fighting over a really cool telescope that Aunt Kim got them for Easter so it's time to stop typing:)

To Grandmothers House We Go...

2010-04-07T13:43:00.001-07:00

I've been a bit stagnant on my blogging lately and there are several reasons why. The main reason is that I've been writing the boy's story. I met with a mentor recently and was telling her about God's clear hand in every step of this journey. She encouraged me to write it down, so I have been! I am amazed that as I write I find MORE ways God was working to bring us together. At some point I may put some of those on here but for now they belong to the four of us;)

Anyway, yes...to Grammie Lynn's we go!

Nick entered a random contest on Facebook and won two tickets on Southwest Airlines! Also, until the 22nd Eli flies free and Nick's parents will only be in West Vergina (near the rest of the family in Pittsburgh) for a few more months. All that to say, the time is now...we are fling to Grammie Lynn's! We leave in exactly one week and I'm scared out of my mind! Two toddlers (who rely on consistency) across three time zones with a bunch of crazy Muccis!!!! What am I to do? I've been planning, praying, and holding my breath. I've got things planned to a T like I've never planned before:) And trust me I'm prepared for all plans to melt down in which case we default to plan B, C, or D!

Anyone with toddlers and experience flying, feel free to drop a few hints here:) We've got the time zones working to our advantage, just praying they sleep through the sunrise and we should be set!

To be honest, we are ALL so excited for this trip and I cannot wait to show off my amazing children.

A bit of Easter gone astray...

2010-04-06T07:02:00.000-07:00

Easter, what an amazing time of year. What an amazing time to really teach our children about who God is and what He's done for us. In the days leading up to Easter I knew that it was coming and was making plans with my parents. Nick and I talked about how Sunday service would go and all was in order, or so I thought.

Then, Saturday night at 9pm after both boys were finally sound asleep I realized we had completely forgotten to decide if we were doing baskets for the boys or if the Easter bunny exists in this house. Now, most families that form from birth with their children have at least one year while they are babies to figure these silly traditions. So, in a panic, not to ruin Easter for my almost 3 year old I ran to the store at 9:30 pm! When I got there I had to laugh, I walked over to the Easter section (or what was left of it) and there were about 10 other moms scouring the isles. I continued to wonder if this was even the right thing to do. I found a few items to fill a football shaped basket then checked out and headed home.

After filling the baskets we laid in bed and as Nick was trying to fall asleep I squeaked out, "do we talk about the Easter bunny in our family?" The final decision on Saturday night was that we could just say they got presents to celebrate the exciting news of Jesus resurrection and that for now they wouldn't even know there was such thing as this Hallmark created ball of fluff.

Easter came and we explained to the boys that they get gifts to celebrate that Jesus is alive, Dom had some comprehension of what we were saying but Eli of course was just going with the flow. By the end of the day I could say, "Dom why do you get presents today" and he would respond with giggly excitement "cus Jesus is awive mommy!"

In the end it was a great day and they had so much fun hunting eggs with Grammie and Grampie. We definitely forgot to get a family picture though...that was a bit frustrating cause these boys were so handsome!

All in all, Easter traditions are yet to be formed maybe next year I'll have some time to plan through each of these major holidays and what we want our boys to know and remember about them.

new disciplines

2010-03-22T21:27:00.000-07:00

so, my routine was down...every morning, i'd spend plenty of time reading and in prayer right after my shower and before i headed off to work. then, things changed...couldn't shower early because the risk of waking our boyz was too great...then, i couldn't get myself out of bed early enough because they were up at 6 and i wanted every second of sleep because i was exhausted...and my routine died a slow death while i watched helplessly wondering if all was lost...

...3 months later i finally make a call for help, i call in the reinforcements and i give a prof from seminary a call and say, 'help! what do i do? do i really have to start getting up mad early to get everything in?' he laughed, said welcome to parenthood, and began to share his journey...

'nick, you have to begin to take on new spiritual disciplines. imagine seeing your time with your boys as time spent with God. when you love them, and show them love, and care for them and parent them well...you are loving God by loving your neighbor. someday you can pray, read scripture, talk with them about God...but for now, just being present with them, just your time with them can be a spiritual discipline.'

simple, yet profound...just imagine how the next few days of seeing my time with my boys as time with the Father changed my heart...imagine how much easier it was to see the face of Christ in the faces of my boys...

...i'm so glad they adopted me.
-nick

On Camera...

2010-03-19T10:38:00.000-07:00

Here are some things I wish I could capture on camera but haven't because it might be too graphic or I just haven't caught it yet...

1. Dom peeing in the potty and making it in!

2. Eli making "eggs, coffee and ketchup" and putting "cookies in the oven"

3. Dom's rapid growth over the last 3 months...he's now outgrown 3T and he doesn't turn 3 until April 27th

4. Eli and Dom chasing Chance around the backyard with sticks:)

5. Their amazing amount of growth in obedience and love

I am loving these sunny spring days. We are ALL so much happier and having so much fun. The boys love running around the yard digging in dirt and pulling up Nick's flowers! I love the fresh air in the house because two boys, a man and a large dog sure do stink up the house.

Simplify...

2010-03-09T13:18:00.000-08:00

Nick and I are always talking about and sometimes taking action toward simplifying our lives. We know it needs done but the action of it tends to more of a challenge. We find ways to downsize on our clothing, technology, furniture, and "things." We often find our selves then buying new stuff. Silly, unnecessary, and very American. With the addition of our two boys we've had no choice but to simplify and to remain more simple.

I just finished reading a book called Making the "terrible" twos Terrific! by John Rosemond. It's a book that was published back in the 90's but every word of it rang true and relevant to me now! Rosemond was talking about simplifying the toys our children have. He suggested not to own anything that was invented after 1955. I sort of laughed but continued reading about his reasons why. Then, this morning I took a large garbage bag and ran through the house throwing everything in it but the toys that forced my boys to think. They had a great morning with the few toys that remained and I was loving watching them find joy in cups, boxes, bags, stuffed animals, balls and books. I didn't throw it all out for good, I don't quite have the guts to do that yet. I am committing to keeping them in the garage for one week to see what happens. I'll let ya know how it goes!

By the way, for anyone that has children 18 months to 3 years old I highly recommend this book. Of all the books I've read about parenting toddlers, this one is my favorite. He covers all the important topics such as; potty training, sleep battles, misbehaving, sibling rivalries, child development, ect.

Out of bed...

2010-03-07T13:34:00.000-08:00

Yep, he is a champ but I win the Gold! Our sweet little Eli had to be led back to bed 60 times last night before he finally decided it was bedtime! He also ran out the doors at the cottage (where we meet for our gatherings) today but I ran faster:) I win gold today and I hope to keep my rank!

Eli the escape artist...

2010-03-05T20:21:00.000-08:00

My youngest son is rather amazing at escaping these days! He's turned into a regular sprinter usually in a direction I don't want him to go. Not going to lie though, it's pretty funny to watch those little legs go and the half grin on his face as if he's out smarted us all.

The parking lot: this is the one that really makes me mad for all the obvious danger reasons. All you mom's with multiple children understand how challenging it is to get two toddlers out of the shopping cart, into the car and buckled in car seats without one of them being required to stand and wait at some point in the process. News flash, one and two year olds don't know how to stand and wait!

From Dom's grip: Eli is the ultimate instigator for the simple reason that he wants to be just like Dom. Sometimes this makes Dom a bit angry, here is how it happens to play out several times a day.

Dom: Playing with a truck

Eli: begins to eye the truck and the way Dom is playing with it

Dom: Still playing as if he is the only one in the room in some strange land of trucks.

Eli: wonders if he could do it just like Dom. He makes his move, snags the truck and takes off sprinting to another room to try it just like him.

It's really hard to keep in mind Eli's motive while I watch Dom crying because his bubble has just been severely popped.

Last but not least, his room: Eli just upgraded for good to the big boy bed. This is our second round because a month ago when we first tried it was still too many changes at once. He's still settling into our family. So, round two began about a week ago and it's been pretty easy until yesterday. It was as if the lightbulb switched to on and he realized he really could escape the bed, and if fast enough, the room! This is so funny to me because really, where does the kid think he's going? I watched Nick (it was his turn) carry Eli back to bed many times in the first five minutes last night. The room finally got quiet and for close to five minutes we were sure we'd won the battle to stay in bed for the night. Then, he must have started to dream about escaping because he got out of bed, ran out the door and came barreling into the kitchen in his footie jammies. Again, I laughed because really where did he think he was going?

I know it's a new phase and a new challenge and I'm sure I'll be missing this phase someday soon but it can sure be a frustrating one at times and hysterical at times.

They are so stinkin cute!

2010-02-26T19:52:00.000-08:00

These two just keep getting cuter by the minute not to mention how smart they are! I need to take another moment to brag:

1. Eli's vocabulary is outstanding. He uses new words in context daily and is speaking in short sentences...blows my mind! The words he learned and used today; "woman" and "penis." Don't worry, not at the same time. He isn't learning about the birds and the bees yet!

2. Dom went to get a screening for early intervention services, the state was asking for it, and he passed with flying colors. He doesn't quite have the vocabluary that his cousin Alli has (she's a walking dictionary) but he's pretty outstanding. They tested in gross motor skills (his best subject), fine moter skills (scored an equivilent to a B in this. Who has time scissiors and stuff), speech, and problem solving. They accidently gave him the test that is 3 months beyond him and he still did great. I was so proud!

3. They both have just learned to peel cuties. This is a very exciting new discovery for mommy, I can only peel so many of those little boogers. They eat like 6 a day!

4. Dom's imagination has evolved from just pretending about things he recalls from books or movies to a full blown imagination land. It is amazing. For the last three day's he's been tending to his "puppy" who needs food, water, and outside to go potty. Tonight he was fishing with his teeth in the river (our living room). Check out the video on Nick's Facebook page.

5. Our little copy cat. Eli imitates EVERYTHING. If you sigh he sighs. If you laugh loud better believe he will too. If I do my hair, he's right there with me doing his. If Dom is pretending to catch fish, Eli catches too! It's wonderful and brilliant.

That's all for now, more to come later. These boys are amazing and I am so blessed to be their mommy.

10 things I get to do now...

2010-02-18T20:34:00.000-08:00

When we first adopted the boys it was the end of November...the beginning of cloudy, cold, and rain here in Portland. Spring is upon us folks, the sun is out and I have two little boys to love the air with! Here are some things we've been able to do for the first time together.

1. Hour walks around the neighborhood with a stop at the playground.

2. Digging in the back yard. Yeah, digging and just that!

3. Bubbles. (I would do them in the kitchen before but only in a serious time of need because of the soapy mess)

4. Visit the neighbors. We love to see our friend outside.

5. Chasing Canadian Geese.

6. Splashing in puddles.

7. Playground, playground, playground.

8. Chalk.

9. Yell (again, would happen inside I can just enjoy it more:))

10. Run in wide open spaces.

Can't wait for the list to grow with things like painting, sand castles, splash pads, city bus, climbing, hiking, and swimming.

our little thank you pray-er

2010-02-16T20:24:00.000-08:00

so i wanna share something with you that happened last night...

every night before we eat dinner we all hold hands and pray. the prayer is usually pretty short, i'll say, Dear Jesus, Thank you for our family and our food, Amen. and then the boys will yell AMEN! Well, last night we went to hold hands and Domer said, 'Pray?' 'I said yup and before I could start, here is what transpired...

"Jesus thank you food. thank you family. thank you food and books."

At this point Mandy and I looked at each other and smiled. Now, I am convinced Eli saw our smile, because he chimed in...(dom in bold, eli in italics)

"thank you toys"
"thank you toys"

"thank you house"
"thank you house"

"thank you food"
"thank you food"

"thank you mommy chair"
"thank you mommy chair"

"thank you daddy chair"
"thank you daddy chair"

(all i can see/hear are damon wayans and jim carrey as the tele-evangelists from In Living Color at this point, come on nick, hold it together...hey, you too, mandy)

"thank you eli chair"
"thank you e-i chair"

"thank you chance"
"thank you chance"

"thank you aluloolo food"
"thank you allull food"

and Mandy said, "Amen"
AMEN
AMEN

'daddy, dinner please'

Valentines Day...

2010-02-13T13:42:00.000-08:00

Who do I love most in this world? After Nick, it's hands down my two sons. How can a love grow so deep and so quick? I've only know these boy's names for 2 1/2 months and I would lay down my very life for them. Most women have 9 months to grow a love for their children, their hearts beat as one for 9 long scary and exciting months. I do believe that I also have been growing my love for these two since last January and that by the grace of God our hearts beat as one. Some people who consider adoption wonder if they can love an adopted child as much as a biological child. That's not even a question for Nick and I. Obviously we've never had a biological child but I do believe we love these two just as much maybe even more than one that came from our own blood. A while back I was glancing through old posts and realized I never blogged about the day that love was confirmed, the day we met.

I believe the reason for that is because while that week was happening I didn't even have a moment to breath. I couldn't sort my thoughts and I didn't know up from down. I was so tired and scared and excited I couldn't even speak correctly.

Now that my life has become a bit more "normalized" in the last month I still can't begin to describe that day in a way that wouldn't make it too vulnerable for the whole world to see. So, forgive me for not sharing that moment with you but I hope that when the boys are old enough to understand I can be clear enough to even share it with them.

What I can say is that when the first words they spoke to us on that first day was "there's mommy and there's daddy" my heart grew. I didn't know that one person could contain that much love inside of them for another.

Happy Valentines Day Elijah, Mommy loves you.

Happy Valentines Day Dominick, Mommy love you.

Happy Valentines Day Daddy, I love you even more then these two babies and that's a lot of love for one person to have.

Sick Days...

2010-02-09T20:34:00.001-08:00

I knew that when I decided to be a stay at home mom I would have several sacrifices to make and I felt pretty confident that it wouldn't be a problem. WRONG there is one thing that I wish I still had from my days at the YMCA, a way to call in when I am sick! Eli has been sick the last two days but was better today, just in time for me to catch his little stomach virus. Oh how I wished that I could just call someone and say "I can't come in today" and forget all responsibility as I drift off to sleep back in my bed, or the couch, or wherever for that matter. No, I fought nausea while the boys played around me, then my man showed up! Nick took off work to take care of the boys so I could crash back in bed. I am so lucky to have such a responsible man to be here when I really need him.

Chance...

2010-01-28T13:01:00.000-08:00

I posted a while ago 10 things I love about Dom, Eli, and Nick...but really I can't forget our dog!

1. How he lets his back be the mountain for the race cars.
2. His commitment to his pillows (partially out of fear of getting ran over).
3. The way he plops outside the boy's bedroom door when one is crying.
4. How he brings his ball to Dom to play catch.
5. They way he guards his own teeth when the boys reach into his mouth to grab a toy.
6. His sad look when Eli puts his food in the water bowl.
7. His bounding excitement when we all go play in the back yard.
8. The way he tollerates us when we forget to feed him. He gives us a gentle whimper and a stare down at the door.
9. His ability to clean the floors for us after dinner:)
10. His gentle spirit, this is the sweetest dog two little boys could ever have.

In the thick of it...

2010-01-21T14:05:00.000-08:00

God has been growing me as a person this last week in ways I didn't even know possible. I have found myself in the thick of the battle as the enimy tries to steal my joy and lead my boys astray. I am sure like the rest of you there are so many times that the rain comes and it just decides to pour. BUT God gives us more than an umbrella he teaches us how to build a small shelter until the storm passes. The "rain" started coming about 8 days ago when the boys suddenly began loosing sleep. I'm still not sure what brought that on but we have been spending the last several days trying to rcover from those hours of precious sleep that make them and me more allert, forgiving, patient, and prepared for each day. In the mean time God has pushed me to be responsible in building relationships with other moms and that is really hard to do. I found today that it is possible for a toddler to sleep again:) It is possible for moms of toddlers to have friends without it just evolving around play dates. It is possible for husbands (like mine) to come in and settle a frazzled mom:) It is possible to pray for strength to build a shelter and not just whimper for an umbrella that won't do half the job. Today I am excited for tomorrow, two days ago I was looking for something sturdy to hold onto and praying that tomorrow wouldn't come yet.

Daddy

2010-01-06T19:57:00.001-08:00

Tonight I get to brag about my husband as a father:

I love...
1. His patience.
2. The way the boys admire everything he does.
3. His desire to be a better father every day.
4. His ability to come home after a 10 hour shift and immediately shift into dad mode and watch the boys while I make dinner. I couldn't ask for more!
5. When he thinks it's just him and one of the boys and I catch him staring into their eyes and saying, "daddy loves you."
6. His ability to be a man of authority with gentleness.
7. His selflessness as he puts the boy's needs and my needs before his own time and time again.
8. His truthfulness when he expresses need for a recharge.
9. The way he helps to takes care of so many things around the house so I can focus on the boys throughout the day.
10. His love and commitment to God through the chaos.

Eli...

2010-01-05T15:03:00.001-08:00

I get to brag about my cute son Eli today:)

1. I call his brother Dom and Nick calls his brother Domer so Eli calls his brother Doma. We've determined it's Domer with a Boston accent.
2. He calls ghosts wooh's so any time he has anything over his head he starts "Wooooohhh." It's the funniest when it's a clear Tupperware that doesn't fit his face or the laundry basket that we can all clearly see through. He also wiggles his finger like he's spooking you.
3. We have one of those classic magnetic color boards and he LOVES this thing. For some reason he believes it's meant to be a partner activity. Around 5 times a day he holds the crayon part of it and drags the giant board behind him to find Nick or I and says "my hunnnn, my hunnn" (hunn is crayon) over and over until one of us participates in the coloring activity:)
4. He has so many silly names for things. One example is the baby powder. He is fully capable of saying powder or something close to it but he insist on calling it "my open." Open? Really kid? Obviously he wants it open but the name of it now is officially "open".
5. He's just developed his overhand throwing skills and love to practice his new trick. All things clutch-able are a throwing object. This includes his cup, bath toys, Dom's shoe, dog bones, trucks, rocks, ANYTHING!
6. If he wants you to hold something he gently weaves it between your fingers, before you know it your actually holding it!
7. When he has to go to time-out I ask "do you want the door open or closed" he says with all seriousness, "open" and slams it closed.
8. His love for hats, especially if its daddy's.
9. If people applaud his singing he says "ank you ank you" and bows his head to both sides like he's shaking water out of his ears.
10. His love for snuggling.

Dom

2010-01-03T19:57:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to update you on some sweet and wonderful things that I don't ever want to forget about my sons at these precious ages. Tonight I'll start with Dom...

As a side note we are transitioning Richard to his new first name Eli:

1. He truly says I love you mommy and I love you daddy without reservation now. He says it freely and without fear. Sigh, I love this!
2. He holds out strong at night and refuses to relax until he is certain Eli is sleeping. What a protector he is, an attribute I hope only strengthens as he grows.
3. His new found love for being social! This was a huge concern for many about 3 months ago but he stands nearly touching mommy or daddy and says to a stranger, "hello" just flashing his baby blues and hoping for a sweet smile in return.
4. His love for Grampy. Any time we are in the car now, "where grampy's race car? Where grampy?
5. The way he sings his sorrows for daddy when daddy's at work. In an operatic tone "Where daddy GOOOOO???"
6. His name for all people he meets who doesn't have a name in his mind. It comes out to sound like Chachy!
7. When he wants something that Eli has, "I sharing mommy" as he takes with force from Eli.
8. The song twinkle twinkle little star he sing the tune with jumble words, it's really cute.
9. The way he remembers books and picks it up and tells words from each page of the story...what a smarty pants.
10. His innocent obsession with taking food apart. Just yesterday he had a corn dog and he peeled off the breading and ate each peace then pulled the dog off the stick to gobble that down. How dare they mix bread with dog!

There will be more to come but that's it for tonight.

Curiosity killed the cat....

2009-12-23T08:57:00.000-08:00

Wrong, I do believe it should go "curiosity killed the parents." I'm actually kind of laughing about it now...but it sure wasn't funny at 6 am! Often the boys wake up early, around 6, and spend some time reading or playing in their room. I was laying in bed this morning and listening to them through the walls giggling and chatting...so cute! I decided it had been some time and even a bit unusual for them to be in there until 6:30 so I got up to peek in on things.

The boys had gotten their little hands on the powder, the costco size refill powder, and made it snow. I can only imagine their curious minds exploding with glee with each shake of the bottle. I'm sure they even fought over it for a few moments and then couldn't help but share. I can picture it so clearly, here Richard you try, here Dom your turn. I don't blame them but it sure was sad...sad for mommy and daddy...to have to clean up the powder. I am glad they had such a good time together today, in fact they really didn't mind their consequence of no dora and time out. They both kinda just took the punishment with pride. Dom even said, "I sorry mommy, OK I have time out" I couldn't help but smile.

I am sure all of you who have had children are saying, "well, it happens to all of us." In fact I may have been sad if we made it through the toddler phase without even just one of these messy stories!

Just like daddy...

2009-12-22T13:03:00.001-08:00

It is amazing for me to watch not only Richard imitate his big brother Dom but also for both boys to want to imitate daddy. Today it was sunny, YAY. So we went for a walk. We walked to a nearby playground and were lucky enough to see daddy working! He took us all for a ride in his race car (the little golf cart that hauls dumpsters) and let the boys help load the dumpster into the compactor. I was so exciting to watch the boys and their faces and they absorbed all that daddy did when he went to that dreaded place called "work." I wouldn't be surprised if around age 5 I start hearing "I wanna be a garbage man, just like daddy!" I am sure at age 5 this job will seem much more exciting than daddy's other job of being a pastor. I do also hope and pray that there comes a day when they begin to mature and grow into men and they begin to say "I want to love God and people the way dad does." I am so far beyond blessed to not only have a good husband who's nice and takes care of us but to also have a spiritual man who is an amazing father and will lead our sons into a life of chasing after Jesus.

Dinner...

2009-12-19T20:18:00.000-08:00

In my home growing up dinner was the most important part of the day. We were all home together. If this meant dinner at 8pm to fit the practice schedules of three busy children then so be it! In Nick's family meals at holidays were of most importance because all things centered around eating were opportunities to bond. The cooking, the cleaning, the prepping, even the table setting was a chance to catch up with a cousin you haven't seen in a while. Now, with children, I understand this all the more. When I'm cooking the boys seem to know that they just aren't going to have my undivided attention so I sort of get a bit of peace for that time. Then, when I'm cleaning the kitchen and the dishwasher is swooshing at the end of the night I have a sense of peace and accomplishment. Even more importantly the fun we have during the meal! When all 4 of us are done eating we engage in silly looks, songs, and games that can't even be described. I could take a picture but that wouldn't capture the sounds. I could take video but even that wouldn't suffice as it wouldn't capture the emotions. If you could catch a glimpse of these moments you would know that we are bonding, the boys are attaching, and we are becoming a family. Communion...it bonds us as family and as friends.

hahaha...i hid it

2009-12-18T11:54:00.001-08:00

so the boys love to drink...milk, what were you thinking? they carry their cups with them everywhere...but they can't have them when we are eating, because they wouldn't eat, they'd just drink. so, during snack time the other day, Dom had finished his snack and we gave him his cup and he says, "where's richard's cup?" Richard responds by sheepishly saying, "my cup". So the search begins...

Richard's cup could be anywhere, in any room, under or on anything. So Mandy and I start searching the living room, their room, the bathroom, under the couch, under the chair, under pillows, in the book box...everywhere. Meanwhile, Richard is saying...no, thats not right, he is now bellowing, "MY CUP" thanks domer. we keep searching, the search has become frantic...pillows flying, blankets landing on Chance's head...toys are dominating the floor even more as we tear the house apart looking. Then Mandy picks up one of their toys and we hear a rattle inside. It's a lunch pail type toy with a farm house painted on the oustide. Domer calls it his treasure chest...sure enough, Richard's cup is inside. As Mandy says, "I found it, it was in Dom's treasure chest, we walk back in to Dom laughing, "I hide it. hahaha."

Nice, you hid it, then became 'concerned' that Richard didn't have his cup and sent us looking...just so he could get his laugh on...

...sounds like something i would've done :)

The mom voice...

2009-12-11T21:01:00.000-08:00

The last three days or so have been the end of the honeymoon phase and the beginning of the all so important testing and setting boundaries...sigh, what work it is! Nick's been back to work for the majority of the days so mom's been the rule maker and enforcer. At dinner tonight I was telling Nick about how well they are responding to my "uh-oh" phrase and that he should try using it more. The funny thing is Nick hasn't really had a chance to tie a consequence to that phrase yet. So, at dinner daddy said "uh-oh, please use your inside voice when we are having dinner" neither one even flinched but just kept talking sooo loud. Nick glanced at me and repeated the phrase in his best high pitched mommy voice "uh-oh,please use your inside voice when we are having dinner." I could barely contain my laughter when both stopped, looked at daddy and continued in a soft voice! I'm sure it was a random fluke a chance that it happened this way but it still was quite funny.

Bubbles...

2009-12-11T20:54:00.000-08:00

The boys love bubbles! Bubbles in their milk, in their bath, from the dishes, from their snot, in a song, in books, and any other place they might think to see or create bubbles! I finally bought the real deal yesterday. I bought bubbles from the actual container with the wand and decided it would be a good indoor activity. I may regret this the day they learn how to blow bubbles for themselves...oh the dripping, fighting, spitting, and gooping that might happen! For this day with these boys it was good:) I learned chance likes bubbles too! Dom would run around yelling and poking "pop, pop, pop" and Richard decided to imitate Chance, "chomp, chomp...mmmmm yummm!" I couldn't stop laughing. One son acting like a comic book character with the popping and the other imitating the dog and the dog acting like he was catching treats. Hahah, so funny.

WHAT?! YEAH?! OK?!

2009-12-08T11:18:00.000-08:00

so Sunday we drove to IKEA with the boys...why? well, because we wanted out of the house, and IKEA is good for that. while driving Richard yells with a gravely voice...WHAT?! instantly i hear Lil' John in my head. so for the rest of the drive, both boys are repeating, Yeah! Ok! and What! after me, except it appears to have more of a valley surfer bent to it...

...this morning, while Mandy and I are laying in bed listening to the boys wake up we hear, 'yeah!' 'ok!' 'huh!' (instead of what). And now whenever the boys want my attention, they'll randomly start saying, 'Yeah!' 'Ok!'. this is awesome...

Another Richard moment, must be the age he's at or something!

2009-12-07T20:23:00.003-08:00

We had both boys washing hands at the sink while the tub was filling after dinner. I was busy hugging my hubby (and yes it was just hugging) when Richard decided it was time for him to get in the tub. He climbed in the same way he always does except this time he was still fully dressed and diapered! Hahah we couldn't stop laughing. Of course it was Nick's fault cause he's the daddy:)

Ergo baby carrier...

2009-12-07T12:45:00.000-08:00

Nick and I just received one of the best baby gifts, the Ergo carrier! The boys love this carrier and I can actually hold them for long periods of time without a serious back ache. Saturday when we were just trying it out Nick was wearing it and holding Dom. Richard wanted to be just like daddy and Dom so his little cute mind went to work. He starting scouring the house in search of a second carrier so mommy and Richard could be like daddy and Dom. He came to the dog's harness. "Hum, shaped the same, same color, yeah that will do!" His little mind thought. First one arm in then a leg and soon a "mommy I stuck!" This child was cracking me up, he was all tangled in the harness with the retractable leash dragging behind so that when he turned a corner the leash stuck then it would zing up to him. I almost died laughing. He wasn't happy though until we were connected so like a good mommy I picked him up and smiled at him and said "you did it! We look just like daddy and Dommy!" I hope my words did justice to the story and you are laughing as hard as Nick and I were...it was awesome!

Cute little things I love about my boys...

2009-12-03T21:42:00.000-08:00

Richard:
Anytime anyone coughs he says "Achoo" waiting for you to respond with Bless You even if you were the one that coughed. Tonight as he was falling asleep I thought for sure he was completely gone but when I coughed he managed to muster enough gusto to say "achoo".

He calls his brother sissy. This is one that drives Nick a little crazy but I think it's funny!

The look. He has this weird but SOOOO cute look that he does when he really wants to get ya. He tilts his head down and to the side then slowly lets his baby blues peek over to meet yours...It gets me every time!

Dom:
The "I love" statements are the best!

His new found love and obsession with books. His top two right now "Naughty Pig" and "Go Away Big Green Monster"

The way his mind locks onto something, even the smallest of things, and finds ways to capture it into his imagination land. So amazing!

Goodness these kids are AMAZING..I can't even get over how much I love them. We've only had them for 7 days but I know that God has been growing them in my heart long before their birth. A friend of mine who was adopted shared a quote with me that I love; "You grew in my heart, not under it."

Thank you all for your prayers. We need them as long days are still ahead I'm sure!

I love...

2009-12-01T12:58:00.001-08:00

Dom's favorite phrase is I love ___. If we say "Dommy, do you want to put your shoes on?" He says "I love shoes on!" or "do you want soup with you sandwich?" he says "I love soup with your sandwich" Here are some others:
Do you want mommy to get your trucks out?
I love trucks out

Do you want daddy to tuck you in?
I love daddy tuck in

You get the idea. As much as he says "I love all other things" he refused to say "I love daddy" or "I love mommy" We are fine with this as it's only been a few days since they've been home but it's hard to hear/not hear your child that YOU love so much reciprocate those words when he's loving all things not mommy or daddy!

Yesterday I thought I got it:
Dom, do you want mommy to help you?
I love mommy to help you

Not quite what I was thinking...

Then, today he said it! Nick said "Dommy, do you love daddy? "I love daddy!" Then about an hour later I said "Dom, mommy loves you. Do you love mommy?" "I love mommy!" I almost cried...the words I've been longing to hear didn't really have to come so soon but God allowed me to hear them!

Now I finally understand...

2009-11-28T21:22:00.000-08:00

I've heard over and over again how precious the early years are with your children. I don't think I understood just what that meant and I don't think one can understand until you've become a parent. As I was trying to help Dom fall asleep I had started hearing in my head..."oh how I wish this was easier" or "come on child, sleep!" Then the Lord allowed me to stop thinking of more than the moment and put things in perspective. I have missed 2 1/2 years of snuggles, kisses, cries, boo boos, diapers, nightmares, and learning of this sweet child. If I have to sit here all night rubbing his back so he feels safe and relaxed to sleep...by all means I am proud and honored to. I don't want to miss a moment more of their lives. I sure do get tired and bored of preschool games and art and I sure get stressed out if daddy had to go do work but these kids are amazing. I don't deserve them. God is so good to me and I have so much to praise Him for.

I am so stinkin proud of these kiddos and if you could watch them as much as I do I guarantee you'd be blown away.

p.s. my arms are killing me! Dom weighs about 35 lbs and Richard weighs about 25 lbs. and they both want and should be held all the time...eeekkk

bed time

2009-11-27T21:33:00.000-08:00

so, bed time is difficult. we are trying to figure out the routine that works best, i know its only been 2 nights. well, what has worked so far was my lying in the toddler bed next to Dominick's bed as long as he stays in his bed. so he was doin a good job and richard had finally calmed down. when i began to move i hit this very large frog they came with that had letters all over it when...

"sing the ABC's with me, A B C D...what comes next?!" As I scramble to shut it up, I hear

"E! Daddy, hit E!" And because I hadn't the frog asked again, "What comes next?"

"E Dadda!"

so, for those following along, its important to know what every stuffed animal around you does if you are trying to coax your toddler to bed.

first night

2009-11-26T16:55:00.001-08:00

hey friends...tonight is the first night for our family of FOUR in our new home. going to interesting to see how the boys respond to their new beds. dominick wants to say hi...

sssfgggfg.lknik1xjussas

...HE LOVES TO TYPE, OH, LOOKS LIKE HE PUT THE CAPS LOck on...sorry, i wasn't yelling, i promise. anyway, what normally takes 3 or so weeks has been reduced to 7 days as the boys are home for good...crazy crazy crazy.

sorry this is so short...i'm tired and i get the feeling, this is only the beginning :)

first impressions

2009-11-22T22:23:00.000-08:00

so we met the boyz tonight...wow and wow. their foster mom had been showing them pictures of us that we had sent so that within 25 minutes they had both recognized us and called us dada and mama...and we managed to not wither into a giant puddle of tears :) leaving them tonight was hard, real hard...we helped (read watched) put them to bed then headed to Mandy's folks for the night and just smiled as we relayed every story we could remember...

this was an amazing night...we got to hold them, read them stories, i was a horsey and took them on rides, Domninick told me he loved football...tear...Richard just wanted to be cuddled, and Dominick gave both Mandy and I our first present...Dominick spit water in my face (we were playing) and placed a boogie in Mandy's hand. i think that makes it official.

these next few days are going to be lots of fun, and quite the challenge as the transition continues, but we are blessed beyond measure...as their foster mom said, "i don't think tonight could have gone any better."

- nick

its on like donkey kong

2009-11-18T22:20:00.001-08:00

so, most of you have heard...mandy and i were chosen and given the privilege, honor, gift of parenting two little boys...brothers...insanity...

i cannot even begin to share the level of excitement that was followed by tears of joy, followed by tears of being overwhelmed by grace, followed by the inevitable deer in the headlights...and some serious joy again!!! i can't believe this, but its on, trucks and cars...its on. mud fights...its on. food out the ying-yang...its on. football...its SO on. i cannot wait to take them to a football game, a monster truck rally, all you can eat Chinese buffet.

and i cannot wait to introduce them to our family...not mom and dad (although i'm stoked, and a lil bummed it'll be through skype)...but the koinoniaPDX family, they are so excited with us, and so many of them know how they will get to be a part of these boys lives for a loooooooooooooong time.

as far as pictures of the boys go...they're coming, have to stay within the realm of legality and safety, so not yet...but they're coming. be praying for this time of transition....this is gonna be fun...

- nick

More later...

2009-11-18T14:09:00.001-08:00

More info to come in the next few days but the bottom line is...
WE ARE PARENTS!!!!
We were selected today to parent these two sweet darling boys.
Thanks for ALL your prayers and patience.
Much love,
Mandy and Nick

9 am

2009-11-17T07:00:00.001-08:00

Our committee time will be at 9 am tomorrow, Wednesday the 19th. I am so scared. I fear rejection, failure, and dissapointment. I am certain that through this God's will be fuffilled. Trust us that if we get good news it will be announced for all the world to hear. If however we get bad news I think we will be pretty quiet...please be patient with us!

More good news today!

2009-11-09T14:22:00.000-08:00

We got the call...we are going to committee (the meeting that chooses the parents) on Wednesday the 18th, as in NEXT Wednesday! Please pray for those making big decisions for our family. Nick and I also have a lot to do before then as well.

So much has chaged...

2009-11-07T08:59:00.001-08:00

This is the wild part of the journey we've been waiting for!

We found out on Monday that one of the children we submitted for, their case worker received our home study and would be waiting for more to be submitted. So we sort of got news, but not really.

Then, Tuesday we heard from another one we submitted for and we were chosen as one of the top three families!! We are going to committee in a few weeks (I will let you know the date just as soon as I know when). We aren't giving much information at this point, even to our parents, because we just can't! We can't put our hearts through the torture of falling in love and allowing you all to fall in love only to not be able to adopt them. Yes, I said them. We are going to committee for two brothers, a one year old and a two year old! Yeah, we might be crazy but that's for God decide:)

What's committee? Committee is a large meeting that will be held with each of the three families case workers, the child's case worker, the early intervention specialist that's been working with the boys, and three unbiased case workers who are completely disconnected from this case. As a large team they will decide which of the three families will be the best fit for the boys.

What's next? Any number of things happen next. We could hear from another child's worker between now and then and be asked to go to committee on another child. If we were to say yes we could do it as long as they don't fall on the same week. If they were to fall on the same week we would have to choose. If we don't hear from any other case workers then we just wait for committee and if we are not selected we wait and continue to submit for other children.

If we're chosen? We then would get medical record and more in depth information on the boys and have 7 days to change our minds. After that 7 day period they would begin the meeting and transition process into our home. That's the point we rally the troops! We will be making a million calls to all people we know who have children similar in age to ask a dozen questions. We also will register at target and such and ask for assistance in prepping the home.

That's what we know for now. So we are ultimately not any closer than we were a week ago but have a 33% chance to adopt these two amazing boys.

Please pray for us and these two boys.

Brief update...

2009-11-03T10:39:00.000-08:00

Not much has changed since I last posted. Each Monday we've looked at about 2-3 more bulletins of children and have submitted for the majority of those children. In all we've submitted for 14 children. If we get chosen as top three for more than one child in a single week we have to choose which to go to committee for. Other than that it's going to be on a response basis...no response no child, response possible child! And the wait goes on:)

time to hurry up and wait a bit more!

2009-10-19T07:33:00.000-07:00

We are at a very nervous and exciting time in the journey. Last Monday we were allowed to look at the adoption book that includes all the children in the state of OR that are available to be adopted. We were then instructed to choose which children we wanted our home study to be submitted for. It was scary to say no to some and yes to others based on a picture and brief description! We ended up submitting for 10 children two of which were sibling groups. The youngest we submitted for was 9 months and the oldest was 6 years. Boys and girls, Hispanic, black, and white. Now, we wait! If any of these kid's case workers think we are a good match we are chosen as top 3 and a comittee will choose the family that they think could best parent the kids. Every Monday kids are added to the book so we also have opportunity to submit for those kids too! From here the process could take 1 month or 9! We are so blessed to have the guiding hand of our Lord in this journey. Keep us in your prayers!

star-gazing

2009-10-02T15:33:00.000-07:00

so last sunday night at our weekly cook-out we had some kids there, as usual, and i was goofing off with a very active four year old in an intense game of keep away with a pear...yeah, a pear...and as the intensity grew to where punches and kicks and elbows started flying (i promise none of them were mine), i decided it was time to calm down, so i pointed to the first star that had emerged and the young guy looked up and laid down on my chest and we began staring up at the sky...soon my 3 year old buddy (even though he speaks spanish, we love hanging out) comes and lays down next to me and a 9 year old girl joins us as we begin to point out every star and airplane that flew over-head while parents and friends watched...

...i can't wait to be a dad...

and just in case you think i'm romanticizing parenthood, my job requires me to be walking outside doing odd jobs after school gets out. and as the kids walk home from the local elementary school there is a group that invariably finds me and begins the Why-marathon...Why are you doing? Why'd they tell you to do it? Why do you do it? Do you like it? How much you get paid? Can I do it? Why not? Can anyone else do it? Why don't you do something else? Why do you do what your boss tells you?

...i still can't wait to be a dad...

Where we are at...

2009-09-30T10:16:00.000-07:00

Nick and I started to talk seriously about adoption last December, almost a year ago. Then we went to our first training with the state in March. Finally in May we met with our adoption worker for the longest part of the process; paperwork, examination, and waiting. We now have arrived at the point where we have turned in ALL paperwork...WAHOOOOOO and our worker has written our home study (like a bio of us)...WAHOOOOO and now her supervisor gives the final ok. Hopefully by next week we will be looking at the book that contains bulletins of all children legally free for adoption. Really once that happens it could be anywhere from 1-8 months for us to have a child in our home...sigh, more waiting.
Much love,
Mandy

Waiting, Waiting, Waiting...

2009-09-12T08:44:00.000-07:00

Nothing from Elizabeth yet...still waiting for the call to move forward. I had another kid dream last night. I would say about once a week Nick or I have a dream about the child/children we "adopted". Most often it's a baby or toddler girl, sometimes we dream about two kids, and rarely do we dream them to be a boy! That part is odd because Nick really wants a boy first and I'm cool with that. Anyway, last night I had a dream that we had two beautiful little girls. One was about 7 months and the other was about 2 years old. In my dream I was visiting a bunch of old friends and they all got to meet our girls:) If you couldn't tell I am so very excited to meet our children and I hope you are too!

August Update

2009-08-31T17:14:00.000-07:00

Hey friends

Here's what we've got going on!

We met with Elizabeth, our awesome adoption worker last week. She came by the house to make sure we were getting it child-proofed...we're doing pretty good :). As the meeting came to a close she told us about what needs to happen next on our end, and on her end...

Our end:

-Employer Verification...ya know, to make sure we are going to have the resources to care for the child...

- Financial Statement...hmm...catching a theme??

- Health Insurance...ya know, make sure if I get in one of my routine accidents, we'll all be covered...including the child

- Money...yeah, gotta send off some checks. We are just a little bit away from having all we need!!!

Her end:

- write the home study. She said it would probably take her 3 weeks.

So here's what we've got...at the end of her writing the home study, if we've finished our end then we get to start submitting our home study for the privilege of being mom and dad to a wonderful, beautiful, precious child!! WAHOOOOOOOOOO

Nick and Mandy

daddy

2009-07-29T12:57:00.000-07:00

so....we've started re-arranging the house in preperation for the adoption....don't get too excited, its still about 2 or 3 months away....but we've started none-the-less. its crazy to think that we are this close, its crazy to be thinking about how we are going to make sure their room is cool enough on days like today (callin for 107), or how can we make sure this table doesn't become death by corners, or what kind of things will they like...

its no secret i want a boy :)....dont get me wrong, girls are wonderful, but the thought of havin a son is just exciting to me, i keep wondering if we get a son, will he like football? will he like basketball? hockey? sports? will he think im a dork :) mandy's pretty convinced all our kids will....at least once they get past the 'i love daddy's crazy voices' stage. i'm excited.

it has amazed me how God has prepared us for all this, prepared us for adoption, prepared us for people thinking we're idiots, prepared us for the unknown., i'm excited, and oh so thankful

2nd trimester...

2009-07-26T13:21:00.001-07:00

hee hee...this is about where we are at in the process! We have raised just over half of our funds and have completed all our paper work. We are now just waiting for our worker to set up interviews with us which should happen next week. We could be parents as soon as September but the average amount of time would be around the end of October. I have had some people ask about a "child-shower" and how that all works out. When we have been matched with a child we will have anywhere from 3 days to 3 weeks to get the necesseties together (we already have many people donating items to us, such a blessing). After that Karla Christy has offered to host a shower for all the church peeps with Portland First Church and Koinonia-PDX. Also, my Aunt Laurie (Ziebart) will host a small family/friend shower for people in the area. And, for all of you who love us so dearly and are so far away Aunt Brenda (Mucci) has suggested a distance shower which consists of mailing in gifts on a particular day. So, decide which catagory you fit into and feel free to join the grand celebration...oh geeze I can hardly wait!!!! If you are local I'm sure this will be a day for you to meet them:)

On a personal note, if you couldn't tell, Nick and I are going kid crazy. Everywhere we go we just gaze longingly at the child/parent interactions and get so excited for what could be someday. I still am reading books like crazy and just finished "clean eating for kids and families" and "12 things adopted children wish their parents knew." Both books were great but now I'm ready for another!

Prayer...this has been the hardest part for me. When I begin to pray for our child/ren I often pray for their current circumstances. I pray for their safety, health, protection, etc. As far as I am concered they are already ours, God sees the match that will be made and our kid/s are completely in someone elses hands. Oh how I pray they have a great care taker and they are well fed, protected, and loved where they are at.

Sorry for all the random thoughts...
Much love,
Mandy

a lil fundraisin...

2009-06-05T15:55:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, just wanted to share a quick note. We've got a garage sale goin down tomorrow to help try and raise the $$ we need to have the privilege of parenting. We've had tons of friends donate items and time to the sale, we have been so blessed by the support of the friends in our neighborhood and at Portland and Salem First Churches...thank you, thank you, thank you...

...in paperwork notes...Mandy has flown through her 130 question worksheet while i've gotten all the 2 sentence questions finished :)...it's those questions like, describe your childhood... & how will your past influence your parenting...that i haven't answered...i mean seriously, those are serious essay questions...anyway, wanted to pass on the update, much love to everyone

nick

Here's what's going on...

2009-05-10T21:39:00.000-07:00

Alright...not much has changed process wise since Nick blogged last I just wanted to let you know where WE were at.

It's Mother's Day (Mom I love you) and it's going to be my last one without being a mom!!! I was so excited today at the thought of this and began dreaming once again about the realities of this child coming. We are nearly done with all our paperwork, we did it rather quickly but still aren't fully there. The doctor visits are almost done, the reference letters have nearly all been returned, and the 125 essay question surveys are just a few away from finishing. Before we can move on to the next phase of this (the home study) we have to have all of this paperwork turned in with a check written for 1,500.00. We have had amazing donations come through putting us at the 800.00 mark. We would love for you all to buy stickers from us. We have it set up on paypal on here...please pass the word! We need to raise the other 700.00 before the end of may. On June 6th we'll be having a garage sale at wich we are hoping to raise a whole bunch more money. There are many ways you can help; buy a 5.00 sticker, sell some to your friends, donate an item for our garage sale or help us think of a new way to raise money!

Thanks everyone for praying on our behalf. Keep parying for our little children as some of them are with another family at this moment. Thanks everyone for continuing to ask lots of questions and showing us your love and support and excitement.

Much love,
Mandy and Nick

movin along...

2009-04-22T15:56:00.000-07:00

our meeting with Elizabeth, our adoption worker...it was pretty great. She's a mother of 3 and an adoptee herself. She's worked in the system for a long time and did a great job at helping our friends Kevin and Rhonda on their journey, we are confident she is going to do/be the same for us!

We just sent her our reference forms and are beginning to work on this 150 question life-intrusive mini-biography we have to do...I cannot believe how long it is, nor some of the questions they ask...good thing is it will really help Elizabeth represent us well at committee.

The stickers are here! And I'm excited, Mandy's excited too...but I'm excited, always nice to see something you've made come out good. We are going to be sending the stickers out to those who have requested them as soon as I can get my rear-end to the post office.

We also made a great find! We had been helping down at a local Spring Cleaning thing and someone brought 2 old toddler beds that they weren't usin anymore. its got some nix on it, as well as some wonderful green crayon marks :)...but its in good shape...so if we end up with a toddler we're all set...and if not, well, we've got a toddler bed to give away when we find out!

that's it for now...this month or so are going to be mainly paperwork and after that Elizabeth will start hangin out in our home and doin the home study deal...we movin right along...

-nick

WE'RE DONE!!!

2009-04-07T20:23:00.000-07:00

...training is over...all the sessions are finished. These times were bitter-sweet for us, so much great information, not-so-great communicators. Plus the times really are geared towards Foster Parenting, so we felt like we didn't belong at times. But....WE'RE DONE!!!

Next Monday we are meeting with our Adoption Worker, Elizabeth. We cannot wait for that, we are so excited for our time with here, meeting here and starting our next phase. This is awesome.

Anyway, on top of that, we just ordered the stickers and I received an email sayin they had shipped today! So, we are going to start getting those sent out to those who asked for them, so again, let us know if you'd like to help us out that way...check out the 'how you can help' section on the left over there...you all are wonderful, and we can't wait for the lil' Mucci to be here!

- nick

Miracles...

2009-03-24T09:54:00.000-07:00

Just yesterday I met with a dear friend with a very big heart. She also is an adoptive parent and is in the process of creating a community (across the street from us) for families to live in who will adopt foster children. Us meeting her and learning of Portland Bridge Meadows alone has been a miracle from God. She shared her adoption story (times two, she has two children) with me yesterday and told me that in this journey we will find many miracles. She herself didn't believe this when a friend told her until these small miracles began happening with her two children finding them as parents. Let me take a moment to share a few of those small miracles in our story.

Meeting Derenda and the Bridge Meadows project. She was the first person I asked to help me understand the adoption process and all of the options. She did an amazing job at helping me understand and to know where to begin. Every time I speak with her I have this nervous, comfortable, excited feeling that would be comparable (I imagine) to feeling a baby kick in a my belly.

Kevin and Rhonda. This is a wonderful couple that a friend introduced us to who adopted both of their girls from the foster system just within the last few years. The miracle part of this story is that they have many connections in their past to Nick's family through the church! Also, learning about their story led us to Boys and Girls Aid the agency we are choosing to use to be our adoption workers.

Jamie and Heather. Nick's dear friends from college. This sweet couple adopted their two beautiful children just in the last couple of years. Their story really aided us through a greiving process that was much needed. Encouraging letters and phone calls came on the most perfect of day, the days when we NEEDED to hear from them.

Most of our miracles right now are couples and individuals who have shared stories and encouragment about what we are facing. The miracle of adoption in other's lives have become miracles in our adoption story. Oh how our Heavinly Father provides.

I know there will be many more to come. I pray Lord that I would not miss the ways your hands are leading us to be adopted by a child.

Blessed

2009-03-18T09:54:00.000-07:00

A frequent comment that we tend to hear is "you are such great people, your child will be so blessed to have you as parents." There isn't anything wrong with this statement because we certainly hope that we bless our children's lives by parenting them! I do want to point our what another blogger said "We don't want to perpetuate the myth that adoption is somehow a noble calling, not to be undertaken by mere mortals." If this intrigues you or if you think our child is the lucky one, please read this blog titled We're All Lucky at http://transracial.adoptionblogs.com/

Mandy

check out goggy coffee...

2009-03-17T15:56:00.000-07:00

it's over there...on the left side, see it...in the links section...

...this has been a blog that Mandy and i have enjoyed reading, his stories always crack us up, give us hope, and prepare us for challenges ahead...he and his wife (her blogs on the left too, adoption creates families) seem to do such a wonderful job as parents, dealing with adoption issues, and learning about their children, and helping their children learn about themselves, i especially appreciated his most recent post...so...check it out...tell us what you think...

- nick

Over half way!

2009-03-13T22:10:00.000-07:00

we're over half-way done with the trainings. it's been amazing to sit through these trainings and hear stories of kids, their families, and all the situations and how to handle different things. there are some moments where I have to be honest, i wonder what we are getting ourselves into. but we are so excited, thankfully we didn't have to go in order (i always love going against the norm :) )...so we have sessions 5,6,2 and 3 left...in that order.

The notebook we were given with all our lessons is continuing to grow as we add handouts and articles to it...this is going to be an invaluable resource. anyway, four more to go...

-nick

FAQs

2009-03-13T21:43:00.000-07:00

1. Can't you have your own kids?

Is that really your business? :) We don't know yet...we've always talked about growing our family through adoption, even before we were married...and at this point in our lives, God really put it on our hearts to start our family through adoption, and we couldn't be happier!!

2. So are you getting a baby?

Don't really know that...we've basically decided on a target age range (6 and under), but trust that when we see our child's bio, we'll know that is who God has been preparing us for, regardless of age, race, gender, et al.

3. So is it gonna be like a kid with lots of issues?

You mean, like the rest of us? We've all been through things that have shaped us and made us who we are. Through our trainings we are learning about different things that these kids may or may not have faced and we are learning about what our boundaries are.

4. Are you going to have some kind of baby shower?

Well, if the child is 5...a baby shower might not make any sense :). Once our future child has joined us, and we know about the basic needs of our child and their age range, we will let everyone know about how they can help.

5. Is there a chance they could be taken away from you?

Only from our cold dead arms! Depending on the situation of the child and their family, maybe. And until the adoption is legally finalized there is a small chance that it could happen. But going into the adoption of any child, we are made aware of where on that path the child's current situation is at.

6. Is this going to affect your ministry?

Adopting a dog affects how life happens...i'm sure the arrival of a child will have some kind of an effect. We are looking forward to opportunities to minister through our lives as a family unit. It will be different than it currently is, but the changes won't be negative ones. Plus, now we'll get to go all kinds of play-dates and make new ministry connections!

7. Are you going to tell them their adopted?

Well, if they don't look like us, or their old enough to know what's going on, I don't really think that's our decision. Adoption will be familiar language in our home through books, magazines, as well as support groups. As our child reaches different stages of development, then gradually we'll share more information about how we became a family.

8. How will you handle if they don't look like you?

I'll count their many blessings they won't have the Mucci gut. :)

As we continue on the journey, if we receive more questions that aren't on here already, we'll add an FAQ Part Deux

how can i help?

2009-03-13T21:23:00.000-07:00

First, check out our blog, check out the FAQs, and read about adoption. One thing that we've found already is that there are many misconceptions about adoption, we've learned so much ourselves as we've pursued this. So, as you have a question, if it's not listed in the FAQs, check out some of the other blogs that we've linked to. If you can't find an answer, feel free to send us an email and ask us, we would love to help educate people on the world of adoption, it's process, and the people involved.

And as most of you know, adoptions cost money (like natural birth), there's lawyer fees and agency fees...since we are going through the state primarily, we won't be paying the some $30,000 that many private agencies charge. However, we are hiring a local private agency to be our personal adoption worker, Boys and Girls Aid. We are coming up with some creative ways to ensure we have the necessary funds to make this happen; we're planning a garage sale, saving of course, as well as we've created a sticker that we are going to sell for $5...the sample-image is at the bottom. If you'd like to support us by either purchasing a sticker, sending a donation, or donating an item for the garage sale, email Nick and Mandy and let us know how you'd like to help. If you want to purchase a sticker, send us an email with your address and the number of stickers you'd like, we'll then send you our address for where you can send the donation. Or, if you prefer, I've added this PayPal button...

just click it, let me know you've tried to make a donation so i can be sure it goes through and i can get you your sticker! Continue to check back as we will be adding more ways that we are finding to help raise money. As always, please, please be praying for us as we continue on this journey.

The Process..

2009-03-05T13:48:00.001-08:00

For those who are curious, we've chosen to go through the state in our adoption. The process has begun with a few introductory meetings and now we are going through Training Sessions in order to be certified by the state to be adoptive parents.

Once we've received that certification we are planning on applying to hire a private Adoption Worker Agency called Boys and Girls Aid, which will then assign us to one of their social workers.

Once that has happened, the Home Study begins in which the Adoption worker begins to learn about us, our lives, our home life so that they can represent us well when we go before committee. The Home Study also includes quite an extensive background questionnaire ranging from health questions to how you were raised as children.

Once our Home Study has been completed we get to see the book. The book is a 4-5 inch 3-ring binder that has brief bios on all the children that are currently in DHS's system that are up for adoption. By looking at this book we will determine which potential child would seem the best fit for who we are and for our future family. Our home study would then be submitted to that child's social worker. They must then narrow all the home studies they receive down to 3. Those 3 then go before committee.

Committee is comprised of 3 individuals who hear from and ask questions of the child's social worker and the 3 potential adoptive parents' social workers. At this meeting the Committee decides whom they think would be the best match for the child.

Once/when/if we are chosen for a child then a transition process begins where we are introduced to the child and they slowly move in and make our home their home. The length of the transition depends on the situation.

Then we live happily ever after!